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  What About Her Boyfriend?
Playas PlaybookTed Carpenter:

I'm definately not scared of him. i'm pretty sure he's gonna pick a fight with me. in one particular conversation i even got her to say bad things about him. i said "he's doing that because he doesn't trust you" she said "i know, he doesn't. It's stupid." so anyway i'm leaving friday to go to a party her friends are having. Me and two friends who met people from her town are going. Her and her boyfriend will be at the party. i can't loosen her up with alcohol, cause she doesn't drink. and i'd look like an ass-hole if i got drunk around her and she didn't like it. so i need to win her over now, before the calling fades away and i never see her again.

she saw me without a shirt once and later said i have "big'ol muscles"(south alabama girl). i compliment her alot and she thanks me and laughs.--our future---when i ask her out, she says "what about my boyfriend?" and i've been replying "forget about him." she never goes out with me. What should I reply?

The Playa:

OK, here's advice from Playa:

She: "What about my boyfriend?"
Playa: "There's two ways you can look at this... either he trusts you to be able to have male friends, in which case it's OK, or he doesn't. If he doesn't trust you, then can you really want to be in this relationship? Trust is at the core of everything, so if he can't trust you, then he can't respect you or love you. He can only own you.
If he does trust you, then it should be fine. Unless, of course, you feel this trust in you is misplaced. Is there something I should know about how you feel about me?"

Again, the dual nature of these comments is very powerful. You're alienating her from her boyfriend by laying the seeds of doubt about trust, and at the same time, you're making her admit to feelings she has about you.

If she replies positively that she feels some attraction, then you can come on with:

Playa: "I'm surprised you feel that way, but I'm glad. To tell you the truth, I've felt the same way..."

Make it look to her like the both of you are being pulled together by some irresistable force. It's fate.

Posted on Wednesday, 18 August 2004 (19:37:35) UTC by gfs

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