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  Advanced Girlfriend Stealing Tips from an Actual Chick
Tips From ChicksHey, I'm actually a female, and I can probably give you all a few more tips in your endeavors. Why would I thus betray my own gender? Because I have tons of guy friends that keep getting dumped, cheated on, and generally mindf*cked by said gender.

I've been there, in my younger days. I've dumped a guy because someone else seemed to present "a better deal", or whatever. But I was very young, and I learned from my mistakes that it's more important to make a givenrelationship work, than to keep chasing something better... and I apologized to the people I had wronged. The guys in question weren't just trying to "steal" me and then laugh, but I still know what techniques caused me to abandon whatever relationship I was in.

Meanwhile, my fellow "chicks" are still at it. Several of them will string multiple guys along at once. One of them married my best friend, then screwed around on him repeatedly (he let her come back), ruined his credit, etc. All because they don't friggin' know what they want and are always looking for a better deal.

Anyway, I thought I'd give you a few pointers from the female perspective,when attempting to steal a girlfriend. This is intended for those hard-to-crack cases and may be overkill (and too subtle) for easier targets.

Getting Her Interest

If she was an easy target, you wouldn't be reading this. Therefore, she is not the type to be impressed by your money or your sheer manliness. You'd better make sure you have something else that interests her, or she may just be out of your league. You need some kind of hook.

It's important to balance between focusing on yourself (talking about your problems, interests, etc) and showing interest in HER. You can't appear to be too self-centered, OR too selfless.

Timing is everything. Look for the signs that she's wishing someone would steal her - subtle complaining about her current boyfriend, staring off into space moodily, perhaps focusing on sappy music, etc. But DON'T act on these signs. This is really the time to "just be her friend", maybe even pull away a little. Forget to answer email for a few days. It'll drive her nuts that she can't get male attention when she wants it, and she will be more receptive to you in the future.

Having a deep, dark secret from your past is good, as long as it's nothing too weird, and preferably not your fault. Make her drag it out of you. It's best if you already have something like this, don't just make it up. We really can tell when you're TOTALLY full of shit.

Building The Tension

Remember that forbidden fruit is the sweetest. A female will often convince herself that since she can't easily have you (without cheating on her boyfriend), that you are actually her DESTINY, and that she is a victim of cruel fate. At this point she will begin to think of the boyfriend as an obstacle standing between you, two star-crossed lovers. Then she will become more hostile towards the boyfriend. She has to trick herself into thinking he is really bad, so that she won't feel guilty about dissing him. This leads us to...

What to do when she complains about the other guy? This is a tricky part. Some people have advised being nice to the boyfriend, others have advised sympathizing and agreeing with her when she complains. You have to handle this on a case-by-case basis. If the guy isn't really that bad, be nice, listen to her bitch, but keep responses neutral. This will make her feel even more conflicted, and even more that she is a victim of fate, and make her want you even more. On the other hand, if the guy is a total asshole, play up to that - but try to be subtle, just shake your head and mumble under your breath "some guys just don't realize how lucky they are." Refuse to repeat or explain the comment.

Remember Trent Reznor's words: "Nothing quite like the feel of something new". There IS a sexual aspect of this for her, maybe more than you realize. If you sense that you have some pretty good physical chemistry going on, enhance it: DON'T hug her, don't touch her, don't even do "accidental" touching while you're sitting next to each other in the movie theater. Let the tension build. And build. And build. Meanwhile, hug other female friends in front of her.

Say you're both driving in the car, and a particularly relevant/melodramatic song comes on the radio, like "Something I can Never Have" by Nine Inch Nails. (Don't diss me, I like NIN.) IMMEDIATELY fall silent. Increase the volume slightly. Look solemn and tragic. Avoid looking directly at her. If she really wants you, she will become totally silent too, and this giant writhing ball of tension will build up in the car between you until the next song comes on.

Don't, don't, don't pretend to have another girlfriend or love interest. This seems like a good idea, but it's not. Often it will completely remove all that tension you've been trying to build, as the female becomes depressed and starts feeling sorry for herself.

Making The Kill

It should be spontaneous and dramatic. If you're reasonably sure you'rereading all the signs correctly and not just deluding yourself, she wants you, you want her, etc, I wouldn't object to just grabbing her (firmly but gently), pushing her up against a wall and kissing her passionately (no tongue at first, please). Just remember that no means no, and if she resists at all, you really do have to stop. Period. Don't assume that no really means yes, otherwise you're liable to get slapped, and possibly beaten up by her boyfriend/father/brother.

Wait till the time is right. You may have to wait a while to spot the perfect opportunity. But when you do, go for it. Don't hesitate, act with confidence but not arrogance. And if she responds, don't assume you're automagically going to get paid, either.

Some other people suggested using alcohol. In my opinion this is:

  1. Unethical, even if you're both drunk. You will at that time stop being a "player" and become a "male pig asshole" bordering on "date rapist". At least in my book.
  2. Not much of a turn-on - why ruin the moment by having one or both of you slobbering drunk?
  3. Too damned easy.
  4. The sign of an amateur.

What To Do Afterwards

Now you have her. I realize this point of this is the stealing, not the having. But maybe you've actually fallen in love with her, maybe she is a worthy person and her previous boyfriend was a prick. There is no shame in this, you know. To quote Robert Heinlein, "It is never foolish to love." [Wasn't that Trent Reznor? - GS]

But if you have decided to go through with it and dump her or otherwise diss her, I have no specific advice. If she's basically a nice, honest person getting away from a bad situation, and you're twisting her head like this, you're going to have to face up to the fact that you're probably an asshole who deserves castration. If you're ok with that, then I'm sure you already have plenty of ideas for dumping.

But if she was already in a good relationship, and broke up with her boyfriend out of boredom or the lure of forbidden fruit, and you feel she would probably do the same to you, in my opinion you can extricate yourself from the relationship with minimal guilt.

By this point, some of you may again be wondering why I am selling out my own gender. It's simple. Any chick in a good relationship who will allow herself to be "stolen" by these means probably deserves whatever she gets. Maybe it will shake her up a bit and forget that "knight in shining armour" fantasy that we've all been programmed with. Maybe it will teach her to appreciate what she already has.

And maybe she'll stop dumping MY male friends, dammit.

Posted on Wednesday, 18 August 2004 (17:36:03) UTC by gfs

"Advanced Girlfriend Stealing Tips from an Actual Chick" | Login/Create an Account | comments
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Re: Advanced Girlfriend Stealing Tips from an Actual Chick (Score: 0)
by Anonymous on Thursday, 02 September 2004 (11:19:06) UTC
Thnx!!! This is sooo great!



Re: Advanced Girlfriend Stealing Tips from an Actual Chick (Score: 0)
by Anonymous on Saturday, 11 September 2004 (02:10:45) UTC
"By this point, some of you may again be wondering why I am selling out my own gender. It's simple. Any chick in a good relationship who will allow herself to be "stolen" by these means probably deserves whatever she gets. Maybe it will shake her up a bit and forget that "knight in shining armour" fantasy that we've all been programmed with. Maybe it will teach her to appreciate what she already has."

I seriously am not, nor have I ever been one to allow such a thing interfere with a relationship I am in. I never consider outside alternatives or ultimatums. I also try to work things out, and only choose to end them when things are no longer mendable. I seriously wish there existed a girl that never went through the stage you describe, but rather one that was wise enough to have never gone through said phase in the first place. Do such women exist?



Re: Advanced Girlfriend Stealing Tips from an Actual Chick (Score: 0)
by Anonymous on Wednesday, 17 November 2004 (09:54:41) UTC
Shit...I say one thing essa's..kinda like a song i know.." Never let a ***** change the way you think"...a HO should not control your mind and the way you act...thats called WILL..and we all got it...don't fall for any Jedi mind tricks from these girls.



Re: Advanced Girlfriend Stealing Tips from an Actual Chick (Score: 0)
by Anonymous on Friday, 19 November 2004 (06:41:32) UTC
This ia a crackup, inside information I love it...



Re: Advanced Girlfriend Stealing Tips from an Actual Chick (Score: 0)
by Anonymous on Saturday, 27 November 2004 (01:47:26) UTC
What mindless drivel this is! Cliched and disingenious. Based on the title I thought there might be some merit to this - boy was I wrong.



Re: Advanced Girlfriend Stealing Tips from an Actual Chick (Score: 0)
by Anonymous on Sunday, 28 November 2004 (21:08:51) UTC
just got dumped....she was cheating on me!then she never ever admitted that they are on!now, they're seeing and ***** each other..my question is she is the kind of girl of a 1 man character the sad thing she asked me out to be her ***** friend but the thruth is she ljust used fun to lure me to help her in some chores and right now they're *****!!!what you think girls?? she ended a 5 year relationship just for a weeks time...she lied to me just ti see her guy. I was loyal to her and I LOVE HER SO MUCH.



Re: Advanced Girlfriend Stealing Tips from an Actual Chick (Score: 0)
by Anonymous on Tuesday, 26 July 2005 (07:50:58) UTC
look I've already made out with this chick and i just wanted some advice on how to proceed, not some bad rap on girls dumping your fat ugly friends. So thanks for wasting 5 minutes of my life, which i will never get back.



Re: Advanced Girlfriend Stealing Tips from an Actual Chick (Score: 0)
by Anonymous on Friday, 05 August 2005 (04:52:20) UTC
Embarassed hi
sexy girls is you have e-mail adresse tell me at thetiger_jad007@hotmail.com



Re: Advanced Girlfriend Stealing Tips from an Actual Chick (Score: 0)
by Anonymous on Sunday, 04 September 2005 (13:01:58) UTC
Not a bad post. For more like this, go here:

www.seductionhome.com



Re: Advanced Girlfriend Stealing Tips from an Actual Chick (Score: 0)
by Anonymous on Sunday, 11 September 2005 (08:42:56) UTC
I love it I wish I knew your email I wanna ask you something else lol all this just happened naturally lol Smile
email me inprizm@hotmail.com



Re: Advanced Girlfriend Stealing Tips from an Actual Chick (Score: 0)
by Anonymous on Sunday, 02 October 2005 (13:53:48) UTC
Would you like to meet me for a coffee or some pie? I am clean, lean, quiet and would let you down easy after.



Re: Advanced Girlfriend Stealing Tips from an Actual Chick (Score: 0)
by Anonymous on Monday, 17 October 2005 (19:00:10) UTC
Hey.. this is great information GSF.. I appreciate what your doing here..

I am currently single.. 22 years old.. college student.. and I have fallen head over heals for this girl.. Shes just a completely awesome girl.

She has been with her boyfriend for 2 years.

HERES THE STORY

We like eachother alot and she tells me and her friends how hot she thinks I am and how much of a great personality I have and how that if she wasnt with her boyfriend she would be with me in a heartbeat.

Well Turns out.. 2-3 weeks ago.. she cut him off. Shes calling it a "BREAK". She tells me that she loves him but shes not in love with him. Which I thought was sort of interesting to say.
Anyway.. we hang out and have a great time and kiss, nothing more.

She tells me shes 50/50. She may get back with him or she may not. She keeps telling me that shes confused and she doesnt want to lead me on.

The part that really irritates me is that I am about 10 levels above this guy. Hes ugly.. hes got no personality and hes an idiot.

She broke with him because her relationship started to get sour.. he slowly decreased his funual drive her and he stopped doing things for her like open the door.. yadda yadda.. you know.. the small stuff. And she hates the fact that he depends on her for everything.. she says that shes the one in control with the relationship all the time.. and shes sick of it and she wants someone else to take control for a change..

I want her so bad.. but I dont know what to do.. Do I just let time ride this one out or do I take on the offensive and work hard at it?



Re: Advanced Girlfriend Stealing Tips from an Actual Chick (Score: 1)
by js2005 on Thursday, 07 September 2006 (23:41:00) UTC
(User Info | Send a Message)
Girl you're a legend(Not that I am a player Cool ), Just wanted to ask you a question. I've been dating this girl, we went out for 2 dates. And recently, I txted her to ask her what was she up to and stuff. She told me that she was just going up to this place in Aus, asked if she had any plans, she told me that she's going with her boy friend! What should I do?????



Re: Advanced Girlfriend Stealing Tips from an Actual Chick (Score: 0)
by Anonymous on Tuesday, 31 October 2006 (09:17:02) UTC
u r a gr8 women ..
u have guided me a lot by showing me the above text.
madam.. i have the same situation. i love a girl who is a good friend of mine.
she had a boy friend and got broke-up with his relationship and is presently single. but has not forgotten him.
i love that girl a lot. but i cant tell her as she say we r just friends but i want to grow this friendship i want to convert this friendship into love . we both have a conversation everyday. our no day goes without talking to each other. i love her very very much and by telling her my feelings i dont want to discontinue this friend relation. plzz tell me what do i do ...
madam plzz do me a favour help me outta this situation.



Re: Advanced Girlfriend Stealing Tips from an Actual Chick (Score: 0)
by Anonymous on Tuesday, 31 October 2006 (09:17:46) UTC
u r a gr8 women ..
u have guided me a lot by showing me the above text.
madam.. i have the same situation. i love a girl who is a good friend of mine.
she had a boy friend and got broke-up with his relationship and is presently single. but has not forgotten him.
i love that girl a lot. but i cant tell her as she say we r just friends but i want to grow this friendship i want to convert this friendship into love . we both have a conversation everyday. our no day goes without talking to each other. i love her very very much and by telling her my feelings i dont want to discontinue this friend relation. plzz tell me what do i do ...
madam plzz do me a favour help me outta this situation. plzz reply me on my email luckystar_swapnil@hotmail.com



Re: Advanced Girlfriend Stealing Tips from an Actual Chick (Score: 0)
by Anonymous on Monday, 13 November 2006 (04:56:14) UTC
Crying or Very sad

your advice has been so great, if you possbily have something specific to this situation...

Here's the deal, if anyone can really help me, with genuine advice instead of commenting on the bad situation i'm in. I"m a junior in highschool. There's a new girl in school, i never saw her before until a party. We had our arms around eachother for the whole nite. I get back after the party, talk to her online for 2 hours. Next day, i talk to her all day, using quotes like "you're beautiful, sweet, sexy HOTT!!!, etc" and she has me put her name inbetween 2 hearts on my aim profile. Then this guy emails me that I have to stop talking, so i go to her i'm like, whats the deal, and she says they're going out... she's now madly in love w/ him (or so it seems)...

1. Can i get her back, if so how?
2. Where did i go wrong in picking her up?
3. If i cant get her back, how to i cope with it?
4. What do i do if her friends get involved?

-Thank you all!!! Question


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